I Hate New Fashion

Today I opened an e-mail, the subject line of which read "The Must-Have for Spring." Already we were off on the wrong foot, since I hate being told what to do and instinctively rebel. Second, I hate it when people who make their living off you buying stuff from them tell you what you need, for the low low price of three payments of $39.95 etc. etc. Thanks but I'll ask someone without a financial stake in it if I want advice.

But all that is prologue to the real kicker, because then I opened the e-mail and saw this:



And all I have to say is, Harem Pants? The, um, coolest shape of the season, as the copy claims? Blecch. Is it just me, or don't these just look like a cut-off version of those '80's "Hammer Pants"?

Of course, saying this brings to mind a memory of driving to work with my husband one day in the late '90's. I observed a woman who was clearly on the cutting edge of fashion walking down the street in capri pants. The essence of what I said at the time was "Ugh, those are so ugly, but give me a year and I know I'm going to want them in three different colors." I believe this was followed by a tirade about it not being enough that designers change the hemlines on skirts from year to year to make us buy new skirts, but now were going to do it to pants, too. Or maybe that tirade came when they brought back "clamdiggers." Or bermudas. Now they're dropping the crotch. What culture remains to rob? Next it'll be the essential loincloth or something.

I'm just a fashion curmudgeon. A late-adopter. So for those of you out there whose job it is to buy them now and convince me by wearing them around for a year or two as I gag, Harem Pants, ho!