I'm Not Dead Yet!

Um, ahem...(tap tap tap)...is this on? Uh, yes, well, here I am. Hallo then! How have you all been?! Back from the presumed-dead, I suppose, itinerant witty person that I claim to be. Sorry for the absence; will try not to let it happen again. (Pity that one can not write in accent, as the foregoing is being imagined with distinctly John Cleese-like inflection. Oh well, carry on, then.)

So here I am. I think I may have begun falling out of the writing habit in some kind of decisional dilemma over what exactly my blog 'identity' or focus should be. Should I be political? Maternal? Simply witty? Sarcastically expatriate? Trite? Deep? Antidisestablishmentarian? (ha ha ha, I kill only me.)

But I think about what makes me want to write, and I think who gives a crap what category it falls into. It's mostly mommyhood, really -- probably because kids have a disarming way of making off with your very soul and making you think you willingly gave it away (not bitter, just honest) -- but I'm all those other things to and so they'll surface too and we can just see which way the wind blows us, y'know?

All this being an extended lead-in to telling you that I have really now arrived at mommyhood and I know it because I discovered tonight that I have a gigantic blue-green a$$-bruise. Its size, location, and tone indicate that I really should know exactly when and how I got it, but I have no flippin' idea. This, to me, is why it announces so assertively that I am a full citizen of Mommyland and there is no turning back. Well, both the cluelessness that I had it AND vivid memories of my mom having blue/purple/green bruises on upper thighs and legs and also never knowing whence they came. (Do NOT ask me why my mom showed me her a$$-bruises. I think it was mainly to say, passive-aggressively "you all are killing me like this daily and I'm so used to the pain I don't even feel it anymore.") So far the worst thing about the a$$-bruise is it hurts when you push it (uh, so for my list: don't push on a$$-bruise) and it makes my a$$ look really really blubberlicious white in contrast (next for my list: buy spray-on a$$-tan).

I'm likin' the dollar signs for 's' thing, so that I'm not really cussing (sez your filter).

Other than that, hubby is away on a 10-day business trip {insert cry of anguish here}, and Christmas vacation for Older Son starts next Wednesday, so actually this blog may be the only key to preserving my sanity. In any case, I'm back. I'll try to do better, 'cause I actually love doing this, it's just I get addicted. Bye for now. Missed y'all.