The Ironies of Childrearing, Part 1 (since surely there are many more to come)

WHY is it that this magical Trust that develops in the bond between parent and child does not manifest itself in the child believing its parent when said parent wants to introduce a new, delicious food (e.g., caramel-covered popcorn, for crying out loud!), BUT ONLY when said child has something nasty to get rid of (e.g., chewed-up food, newly-picked scab, large freshly-harvested booger, wrapper of any kind) and so hands it to parent/all-purpose garbage receptacle? WHERE IS THE TRUST?!!!

(And so verily, verily I say unto you, my dear oldest son, that Poppycock is indeed a snack food worthy of a child's love, the very nature of which is sweet, buttery and delicious, just as I have tried to convince you of for, like, forty days and forty nights. Its taste is entirely something wonderful and not like to that of festering insects or vegetables, as the look on thy scrunched-up face doth indicate thou seemst to believe. Behold, there, your younger brother, who stuffs his face even now with an abandon befitting this heavenly treat. Dost thou think he is crazy? Dost thou wish us alone to eat it all and feel disgusting? Why, then, dost thou also not sample this feast to which thy mother, in some unbelievably permissive mood, is inviting thee wholeheartedly? Ugh, whatever.)