Monday, September 26, 2005

It's Life, Jim, but not as we know it

Should I be sleeping right now? Yes. The only problem is that my mind was just blown by a little factoid the Hubby shared with me. Voyager one is now outside the known solar system and transmitting data. Woah. I hope there's a bunch more systems out there with non-violent goverments who can give our pres. a good talkin' to ( or maybe they call it "A Boot in the Ass" in Texas...) I want to see pictures of other solar-sytems. Maybe they'll find the planet where all the lost socks and orphaned power-cords go to live a life free from war and poverty.

Meanwhile on our little green planet, I have joined the ranks of the Camera-phoned. Yes, dear brother in law and family, I have stayed brand loyal to put some crumbs on your table, so unbunch those panties and relax. In the words of wireless-company guru Eva, "you get a phone free, so you might as well get a camera-phone." (subtext- "just buy a dang phone so I can get out of here") So, now I can take pictures at the flip of a phone and charge myself a quarter for getting to use them anywhere other than my phone, or I can flip the phone open at the pool in the summer and make like those new-parents I saw three years ago who I wished would slip on a wet-spot on the textured-concrete pool deck and get a nasty case of deck-burn. Here's why (and I quote):

"ETHANLOOKATDADDY-LOOKATDADDYETHAN-HEYETHAN-ETHAN-SMILEETHAN-SAYHIETHAN-LOOKATDADDY-ETHAN-ETHAN-HEY-LOOKATTHECAMERAPHONEETHAN-HEYETHAN-ETHANLOOKATDADDY!!!!!!!!! etc etc" I swear this went on for at least three sets of ten minutes, with a minute or two pause between sets. It was like circuit training for annoying locution.

So I got the dang camera phone, "'cause why not" and now I promise and solemnly swear never to try more than three consecutive times to get a picture of my sweet monkey girl. (at least in public). By the way, Ethan was like, three months old. yeah.

I also sold out to the brand-name-sneakers-for-little-newly-walking-children set tonight. To jusitfy, they are SO DANG CUTE and we only paid half of the 29.95 for them due to a well-meaning grandparent who got the Monkey some shoes without trying them on her first. So we returned the small shoes and replaced them with Sketchers, so now Monkey can grow up to be just like Christina Aguilera. Oh Crap, now I've gotta return those shoes- because though she may have a phenomenal voice talent, Miss Aguilera's sense of style is definitely lacking (okay, so it's really just clothes in general that she's lacking. Oh, and modesty.) Those of you who know me know how important the sense of style is to me. Monkey and hubby and I spent saturday morning at the mall play-area identfying fashion dos and don'ts and crawling through the plastic tube-tunnel. Thankfully, Monkey and I are in total agreement so far about who should appear on the back page of Glamour magazine. But then again maybe that pointing finger and the accompnying "UNGH!!" meant get me some of those pink shiny hot pants made especially for toddlers complete with the big-butt allowance for diapers!! NOW!!!!

God, help me!

The I.O.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Witty One said...

Where to start? 1) Lucky you, havin' a camera phone. Believe it or not, I don't, but I was just telling hubby last night that I want one. 2) ROFLMAO about poor Ethan. I can picture/hear it. 3) Glad you picked a spouse with whom you could continue to play our favorite mall game (spot the fashion don't). I always told people, by way of expressing our special camaraderie, that you didn't want to walk in front of me and my siblings at the mall.

9/27/2005 8:20 AM  
Blogger soulless said...

I think we are the system with all the orphaned power cords--we discovered quite a few during a recent move. I think if we find whatever ET race is hoarding our socks we could set up an exchange. And maybe they would kindly stop turning our cattle inside-out. That would be nice.

And the camera phone...the perfect accessory for catching your friends' most embarrasing episodes. Whoever invented that deserves a big cookie.

9/27/2005 1:06 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home