Do you need a good ass-whuppin?

you do if you own or wear the following:
1) Gaucho pants- the name sounds bad, the "pants" look even worse. Even the coke-addicted citizens of the 1980's could tell this was an unattractive look. It went out of style FOR A REASON, PEOPLE!
2) Tie-neck Blouse- We are SO over the needing a female eqiuvalent of the man's Neck-Tie. It just makes you look tired and chubby-faced.
3) Sportswear with writing on the butt. 99% of the time, these are worn by people whose butt one would like to avoid looking at, much less watch a word in contrasting-colored letters jiggling to the left, then right, then left, then right.
4) Fake hair- and by this I mean the ponytail holder or clip with hair attached. It always looks exactly like what it is- plastic hair attached to your head. It's the same as silk flowers- they ALWAYS look fake. And I always feel sorry for the unappreciated nubbin of unseen real hair underneath which is doing it's best to grow out and make you gorgeous, but it's just never enough for you, is it?!! Ungrateful....
5) Shrug sweaters. The irony here is that they're selling you 1/3rd of a sweater for the full price. And besides that, these things make everyone look like they raided the closet of a 10-month old. Pick on someone your own size and steal THEIR sweater, and only if it's made of a natural fiber- preferably cashmere.

Can you tell I went to the mall in the more affluent side of town? Just goes to show you, money can't buy you taste!

The I.O.