Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Response, plus "Don't you hate it when...?".

Well, Oh, big-sis-O'-mine, if you ever buy Harem Pants/Shorts I promise to slap you and then burn them in a barbeque grill. Capri pants are one thing-they can be excuted in an aesthetically pleasing/body flattering way, but HAREM PANTS?? Nope. Never. Not Acceptable. No way. Uh-uh!

I AM glad to hear that I am not the only one in our family who hates being told what to do... though I think we can both agree that I am a bit more... comprehensive (!) when it comes to that.

On a similiar note, I have been brewing a post about little things that I find irritating, like Don't you hate it when:
-you are the soberest person in the room? (AKA- you are sober and everyone else is drunk?)
-the grocery store stops carrying your favorite Olives/Chocolate/Pasta sauce?
-you get your seasonal clothes out and discover they don't fit?
- your favorite shoes make your feet smell like Fritos?
- the battery on your camera runs out just as you've framed the perfect shot?
- you realize one bathroom trip too late that you need more toilet paper?
- You have a sharp booger in your nose, but can't just pick it since you're in a public place?
- you get stuck next to a person who chews loudly/ talks incessantly/ has body odor?
- you accidentally smear mascara on your face when your makeup looks really good?

...What? I love those Napa Valley Bistro Almond Stuffed Olives!! I LOVE THEM, I TELL YOU!!!

Feel free to add your own in the comments. I could go on and on, but I think I'll spare you all for now!!

I Hate New Fashion

Today I opened an e-mail, the subject line of which read "The Must-Have for Spring." Already we were off on the wrong foot, since I hate being told what to do and instinctively rebel. Second, I hate it when people who make their living off you buying stuff from them tell you what you need, for the low low price of three payments of $39.95 etc. etc. Thanks but I'll ask someone without a financial stake in it if I want advice.

But all that is prologue to the real kicker, because then I opened the e-mail and saw this:

And all I have to say is, Harem Pants? The, um, coolest shape of the season, as the copy claims? Blecch. Is it just me, or don't these just look like a cut-off version of those '80's "Hammer Pants"?

Of course, saying this brings to mind a memory of driving to work with my husband one day in the late '90's. I observed a woman who was clearly on the cutting edge of fashion walking down the street in capri pants. The essence of what I said at the time was "Ugh, those are so ugly, but give me a year and I know I'm going to want them in three different colors." I believe this was followed by a tirade about it not being enough that designers change the hemlines on skirts from year to year to make us buy new skirts, but now were going to do it to pants, too. Or maybe that tirade came when they brought back "clamdiggers." Or bermudas. Now they're dropping the crotch. What culture remains to rob? Next it'll be the essential loincloth or something.

I'm just a fashion curmudgeon. A late-adopter. So for those of you out there whose job it is to buy them now and convince me by wearing them around for a year or two as I gag, Harem Pants, ho!