Saturday, September 03, 2005

Zen and the Art of Unpacking

Unpacking is only a slightly stranger task than packing. As you pack, you have moments of "Hey! I remember when Betsy gave me that pink fuzzy elephant-shaped paperweight! Those were the days!" followed by moments of " Honey, are you SURE you need the shadow-box sclupture with the false teeth and random mechanical parts!" and those are always followed by the "Good LORD! WHY do I have all this CRAP?!" moments. Usually I find that I have more of the latter than the former- especially the closer I get to Moving Day.

While unpacking, the moments are more like "WHY THE H*LL DID I MOVE THIS?!" down from the shelf, into the box, labeled carefully, down the stairs, into the van, out of the van, up the new stairs and onto the new shelf- to be finally unpacked and thrown into the garbage! For example: the little sheath containing five Ritz crackers held closed by a clothespin to keep them from going stale, or the coffee can full of pens that no longer work because they've been sitting in a coffee can for the last three years- no exaggeration, or the bag full of little scraps of fabric (TRASH) from some long-unfinished sewing project, or the ziploc baggie full of orphaned keys and picture mounting hardware. I pulled all these things out of a box today and threw them in the trash. Alone, they seem small and harmless, but together they are nearing a full kitchen trash bag.

Normally I pride myself in my ability to get rid of the things which aren't worth moving (a talent honed by moving at least every one and a quarter years on average for the last ten years). I don't understand how I still have those moments of defeat knowing that I lugged a trash-bag's worth of completely usless and worthless odds and ends all over God's green earth just to chuck them into the trash in a different area of the city/country/world. Does anyone REALLY make art out of the orphaned keys and screws and picture hanging hardware? What about somebody making a quilt out of the scraps of fabric two inches square or less which are left over from a productive day of sewing? And if anyone does those things, are the results really pretty enough for yet another person to BUY? Somehow I doubt it. I have seen the pictures of that house decorated on the outside and inside with "trash" and y'know what? It looks like they glued and nailed trash all over the walls- what a frickin' surprise!

Now, being an Ar-TEEST myself, far be it from me to tell you that your flower-shaped wall-hangings made of old discarded doorknobs is not "art", but c'mon, it's not exactly like people who aren't related to you are approaching you asking to hire you to create a sculpture for their home!

But I digress- Unpacking has it's positive moments too. Like the moment when you see the empty box on the floor, knowing that all your precious ceramic corn-cobs are safe in a cabinet in the bottom, back corner of your basement, right beside the 29-year-old potty chair you're saving for your future grandchildren (I wish that one was hypothetical!!!). That's a good moment. And I'm betting an even better moment is when you finally get to unload that potty chair on your innocent, unsuspecting "next generation." I'll have to keep that potty chair and see how good it feels to give it to my grandkid about 22-25 years from now! Oh, and I will definitely be watching for the disguised look of complete horror that my son-in-law gives me when I say "Here, this belonged to Sam's Father, and now it's for little Joey to learn to pee and poop on! See? You can even fold the back of the seat down and it's a step-stool!!!!!!!"

the I.O.

Friday, September 02, 2005

here I is

Neener on you, W.O. There's a typo in your post. I thought you were all about the grammar and language stuff. Anyway, I have decided to dedicate this naptime to Blogging, so the outside world sees that I do more than sit on the chaise lounge eating bon-bons all day. (BTW, I've never encountered a single bon-bon in my life. I think they're an urban legend)

Here's my deal. Everyday I have to cram all the useful things I have to do into a time slot that lasts 1 1/2- 2 hours, known to the outside world as "The Kid's Naptime" so mind you this is precious time I'm spending with you time-wasters! (And I know that about 99% of you are reading this at work, so surely you have something really important and official-looking document minimized to click back to if the boss walks by). I am mostly a "HomeMaker" and I occasionally get to leave my house and go to work as a costume designer or a wig/makeup/wardrobe assistant. It's not regular work, but it's flexible and fun, and I haven't had to subject my honey-'chile to the Daycare experience yet, so I love it. We've also just moved into our first non-apartment dwelling, so I am sitting surrounded by boxes and un-hung pictures (something else I should be doing!) thinking about making brownies instead.

As W.O. mentioned, we are sisters- I the younger, she the older- and I am artsy and she is cerebral (a.k.a.- nerd!) We have shared everything from barbies to training bras, to a code with the driveway-light that meant "GET INSIDE NOW BEFORE MOM COMES OUT AND FINDS YOU MAKING OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!" Okay- so that one was mostly for W.O., that hoochie... But anyway we're pretty tight and we both think the other one is funny, so time and blogs will tell if we were sorely mistaken. We hope you enjoy this delicious slice of our grey-matter, and make sure that you don't get caught!

the Irreverent One

The Scoop on the Blog

So hi there. We're figuring this thing out, as neither of us are programmer-type geeks or nuthin' (but hey, couldn't you tell, due to the mail-order blog format service choice?). We promise it will get more witty and irreverent once the process is a little further along.

So the deal is this: we've decided that I'm The Witty One (The W.O.) and my sis The Irreverent One (The I.O.), although both of us are also simultaneously possessive of the other quality. (Because, you know, what is sisterhood without a little labeling, right?) I think once we do this some more, the tendencies in each of our commentary will become apparent, and you, dear reader, will say to yourself, "why yes, very aptly have they named themselves." Well, maybe you'll say it differently, unless you're Yoda.

To add a twist, I am an expatriate homemaker (on "extended sabbatical" from a career in international policy), raising two young boys in Seoul, South Korea, for the moment. My sister is a homemaker who is a part-time professional doing design and makeup on the side in while raising one daughter in Indiana. We both have pretty cool husbands, but they'll definitely be fair game from time to time. Of course there will be the mandatory exploits of the rugrats to slaver over, as well. We'll try not to bore you, bwa-ha-ha.

We don't have an agenda and we don't plan to have a cause to harp on, we just figure we have our own viewpoint and lives that, with a little hyperbole, could be mildly amusing. Raising kids has to be done with humor. We have a lot of enthusiasm about this endeavor, some inspiration, and some good ol'-fashioned moxie. We just hope you'll read it, laugh, maybe pee yourself occasionally, and want to tell your friends about this awesome thing you read the other day. So welcome, and we hope you like it. 'Cause if you don't, it's our dang blog. Toodle-oo.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Dood, give us a minute!